Shouldering pain

Shoulders tell people how we feel about ourselves. Strong, wide, and lifted shoulders give off confidence and masculinity like you see in the military, and droopy, slouched shoulders show lack of confidence and worry.

Seriously who doesn’t have shoulder pain?

I look at school kids these days walking like turtles with their poor little growing spines carrying more and more every year…I thought laptops/ iPads were meant to ease the load of school books, never mind all their school issues and puberty stages to add to that load

Toddlers, shopping bags, handbags, laptop bags, they are all either on one shoulder or both of them. Then add some work stress, family commitments, deadlines, school fees, an old tennis shoulder injury, and some financial stress, and we have some real weight on those shoulders to carry!

It is no wonder your shoulders are hunched over and feeling heavy with the weight of the world sitting on them.

Physical pain is the body telling you quietly that there are some stuff you have going on that you’re not quite dealing with. Now how loud that little voice is will really depend on how long you leave those little things void.

Shoulders tell people how we feel about ourselves. Strong, wide, and lifted shoulders give off confidence and masculinity like you see in the military, and droopy, slouched shoulders show lack of confidence and worry.

Pain in the shoulders can relate to a few things:

  • weight of the world
  • holding onto too much strain, stress, worry
  • feeling insecure, unsure, overwhelmed, sad, rejected, distrustful, and discouraged
  • droopy shoulders – lack of fun and joy
  • seriousness
  • focus on problems not solutions
  • accumulated anger creates chronic tension in the shoulders, neck and arms

To be honest I think we all carry way too much on our shoulders. It’s time to shrug the weight off and free yourself from the heaviness your bear down on your body – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I see the weight on people’s shoulders in yoga class. I see it in the children who are carrying our futures problems. I see the sadness in our forgotten older generations that a society has pushed aside. I see it in the posture of abandoned animals. I see it in the broken bodies of office workers who slouch all day over technology and a cyber world that is slowly killing their spirit. I see it in the body language of depressed people as they walk around. I see it in my own body language when I get frustrated and communicate by shrugging my shoulders rather than communicating.

Oh boy does our body speak for us in communicating to others what is really going on with us. Just paying a little attention to someones posture and body language will reveal a lot.

Begin with deep breathing to begin to loosen tension in the body. Visualize those heavy weights you carry begin to fall off like nothing, and feel the softness and warmth return to the shoulders. roll them around, roll your neck and release that rigidity in those areas. A stiff, sore neck usually means refusing to see the other person’s perspective, stuck in your ways, withholding statements.

Release fear, anger, stress, and worry, and install peace, calm, relaxation, patience, support, and compassion.

Stand tall, stand proud and stand confident. Those who have tall posture and strong shoulders are also less likely to be attacked and victimized. This was mentioned by criminals who were interviewed on how they looked for their victims, by assessing their posture, arm movement and level of awareness.

Want to know more about the yin and yang side of the shoulder? Take a read of Does Your Body Lie?

The heavy metal type you don’t want

Some of you may already know that if you consume a lot of seafood, especially tuna and shellfish, you are increasing the chances of high levels of mercury in the body, especially in the bloodstream.

Before I go into the effects of heavy metal toxicity and what you can do to help remove them from the body, lets see how they become present in our bodies.

Metals exist naturally in the earth, in space, in products we consume and wear, foods and drinks we consume, in elements of all matter including our bodies. They can be found everywhere and some are more toxic than others.

Heavy metals can be ingested, inhaled, and/or absorbed into our bodies.

They become toxic to our health when specific metals such as aluminum & mercury are present in higher concentrations.

The 5 most common toxic metals that affect your health are:

  • Mercury fish (swordfish, tuna), in dental amalgams, certain vaccines. Any exposure/ consumption is toxic to the body.
  • Lead – lead-based paint (old homes), drinking water, tobacco smoke
  • Cadmium –  contaminated water, foods, released into the from mining
  • Aluminum – deodorants, foil, cans, processed cheese, toothpaste, refined foods, baking products, over the counter drugs
  • Arsenic – pesticides, some cottons, soil, contaminated water, rice

Side effects of some of these heavy metals include and are certainly not limited to:

Tiredness, irritability, depression, anemia, Alzheimer’s disease, brain dysfunction in children and lowering of IQ in adults, hypertension, lowered immunity, poor liver and kidney function, cancer, headaches, and memory loss.

Heavy metal toxicity can be removed from the body with some of the following tips.

The first step is to reduce your usage of aluminum in the kitchen, and also find self-care products that do not contain aluminum. Just think how many times a year you apply deodorant under those armpits and what glands are close there…

Increase your water intake. Make sure you are hydrated well to be able to flush out the toxins in your system.

If you have mercury fillings in your teeth, it might be an idea to find a dentist who can help remove them carefully and replace with a safer alternative. Also avoid any unnecessary vaccinations.

CHLORELLA!
This is a brilliant health supplement, which is a green algae that not only removes heavy metals from the body, but is also rich in vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants to boost your immune system and functions of the body, and also counteract any effects of toxins/metals on your health.

Coriander/Cilantro is another great super herb that helps detoxify, as well as containing anti-microbial, anti-inflammatory, and essential oil properties.

Having regular saunas will allow you to sweat out toxins and metals in your body through your skin’s pores.

Other foods that help to remove heavy metals in the body are garlic, pectin, milk thistle seeds, fermented foods, and sulfur rich foods such as spinach, broccoli, kale and watercress.

It’s always a good time to give your body a boost with a detox.

If you are suffering from any of the symptoms above, then I would highly suggest you see a naturopath, homeopath, gut specialist, or a medical practitioner that can help with identifying metal toxicity in the body. Various blood tests may show indications of toxicity.

Can it really be called quitting?

If you don’t feel the fire in your career choice?
If you end a relationship that isn’t fulfilling you anymore?
If you pack your bags and move abroad to travel and explore?
What about if you’re just fed up with the direction your life is heading in?

I think not, and I don’t think you could ever quit in life.

You can give up on something that may be hard, character testing, or challenging, but your heart knows the difference between what is good for you, and what is holding you back.

You are never too old, too young, incapable, or unqualified to make a decision to stop what you are doing and change direction.

We get so caught up with the daily grind of routine, work, bills, family, and social commitments that we forget to fuel the fire for our existence.

So if you have an unfulfilled desire to pursue a goal or a dream then go do it. Get online and start researching on how you could get in line with that desire.

Start talking about your goals to people, and see if they know someone who could help you.

Get your pen and paper out and start writing down what you want.

Never stop learning. Never stop growing. Never stop dreaming. Never stop believing in yourself.

Forget the “I don’t quit” mentality and start working the “I deserve more” mentality.

The other side of you

You sit and observe the beautiful girl in the room. She is perfect in your eyes.

She has amazing shoes on, a great outfit, her hair is full and luscious, and you always wished for her kind of hair.

She has a very beautiful face, which is lit up by her perfect teeth and smile.

You adore her body and physique, and you say to yourself “she is lucky, she probably eats what she wants and is blessed with good genes”.

You begin to compare yourself to her, and look down and start judging yourself. Your confidence just fell through the floor, wishing you had picked out nicer clothes before you left home, even though you look great.

You put your drink down, excuse yourself and head to the ladies bathroom to compose yourself. You get your lip gloss, eyeliner, and mascara out, and stare at your reflection of the girl in the mirror.

How many times have us girls done this? Compared yourself to others by how they look, how their presence feels, what they are wearing and who their friends are. I am sure it is no different for men who feel the same way, and compare to other men in the room, or situations.

The minute we see someone who seemingly has their “shit together”, we feel bad about ourselves, magnify our flaws, and get frustrated where we are in our journey.

You may actually have all of the good traits of the “beautiful girl” in the above scenario, but we rarely see our own golden light and attributes.

What we don’t see when looking at others is their pain. The hardships endured, that they still may be enduring, and like most of us, carry it in silence.

Many beautiful girls, like most girls in population, have low self-esteem levels. Many of them sexually abused or assaulted in their younger years. Trauma being carried with them, that make-up and beautiful clothes only hide.

Toxic relationships that these girls keep getting involved in, because they see themselves as toxic on a deeper level. This isn’t always a belief they know they have, as it is on a sub-conscious level.

Looks don’t mean confidence.

Smiles don’t reflect happiness.

Great outfits and perfect make up hide emotional and physical scars.

Laughter masks the brokenness inside.

Flirting because dad didn’t teach you how to attract the right kind of love.

Crying yourself to sleep because you were told not to speak up when an older man touched you inappropriately.

Sound familiar? It was for me.

I have been toxic. I hated myself to the very core. I only respected myself as much as those cheating, lying boyfriends treated me

They only treated me a certain way because I allowed it…A difficult truth I needed to accept.

Drinking to forget my pain, even though I disliked alcohol and the way it made me feel.

Sleeping with men I didn’t like, because I wanted someone’s arms around me to make me feel loved, even if it was only for a night, and the sex rubbish.

Training myself into the ground until my body broke, because I needed to punish myself.

Seeing everyone else’s needs were met before mine, because they mattered and they were better than me.

Sabotaging good things and opportunities in my life because I didn’t deserve them.

That was the old me. Every point was exactly how I felt about myself. A broken girl who covered it so well, that she was able to be the motivation and inspiration for others because of the persona she gave.

We all have pain, trauma and past events that affect us to this day, whether we are aware of it or not. Your childhood and what you observed growing up, is what you base your beliefs on, how you carry out your daily life, and how your relationships evolve.

It is easy to sit and judge others by their looks and social status, but little do we know their story. Sometimes the very people you envy, are the very parts of yourself you need to heal.

One can only treat you the way you allow them to. People love pushing boundaries, and if you have none, then it might be time to set some up and avoid disappointments and heartbreak.

It is key for me to share some of my past and how I was, to help you in your journey of healing and change. To make you believe in yourself, that no matter how deep those wounds, they can be healed, they don’t have to dictate your life forever, and that they don’t reflect who you truly are.

For most of my career as an athlete I ran. I ran from myself, I ran from my emotions, I ran from those who loved me the most, and I ran myself into self-destruction.

I overcame my pain and my fears because I wanted to be a better me. I wanted to be happy, and I didn’t want this darkness that was plaguing me and destroying my life. Pain that almost cost me my life when I was 15, sad and wanting to end it with a box of panadol.

It takes courage, patience and a whole lot of forgiveness to overcome your demons and be the “beautiful girl” in the room with no other side of you to hide.

If you have been abused, assaulted, tormented and/or neglected, realise that your healed pain will someday be used to help someone else overcome theirs

Those with the deepest wounds always make the best healers and teachers.