Surround yourself with like minded people

All of a sudden you feel like you fit. All of a sudden you feel this feeling of being safe amongst a tribe. You feel supported, and that empowers you to be your true authentic self.

They say that you are the average of the 5 people you associate with most in your life, and I would have to say that has run true in my life.

Spending time with people who inspire you, motivate you, and perhaps are a little higher on the scale of where you would like to be, encourages you to lift your game and pursue your dreams.

Like minded people reaffirm your path and what you are about. They help you to learn more in the field/s of what you are interested in and also help you learn what has helped them along their way, which is usually the little set backs they have grown from.

After spending a few hours in a room filled with people I had never met before but had come together for similar interests this weekend, I realized how powerful being in that  space was.

All of a sudden you feel like you fit. All of a sudden you feel this feeling of being safe amongst a tribe. You feel supported, and that empowers you to be your true authentic self.

What a feeling!

I walked out of the event feeling “I need to do more to share my knowledge and gifts” that “I need to trust myself” more with what I do, and know that I am not alone in my way of thinking.

Your tribe is like your family, and the amazing thing about being a human being is that you can choose and have free choice in who you would like to spend your time with. You can choose to surround yourself with people that uplift you and support you in a loving way or you can choose to have those that are less inspiring. We know growth is hard for many people and change can be threatening to their comfort levels….but I know who I would rather be around 🙂

Don’t be afraid to lose some friends in your life. You are just making space for some awesomeness to come in.

Don’t be afraid to change locations, cities and workplaces. You are moving to places that are more aligned with where you want grow.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to people in your field you have never met before. They were once where you are now.

Don’t be afraid to join new groups, organizations, and communities. Like attracts like.

Your vibe attracts your tribe!

Make yourself available, put yourself out there, and don’t fear change. The right people will let you know if you are not doing enough to get where you want to go and nudge you accordingly to get you there.

One final note…don’t take advice from people who have never changed careers, pursued their dreams or faced their fears. Want to move in life? Then get with the movers and shakers of this world and a few dreamers…we all need those in our lives.

 

 

Speak your truth even if they don’t like it

Whether it’s right or wrong or we agree with it or not, it is up to us to make a decision on what feels right for us to either take on board, or leave it with all the other info that is out there.

Sometimes we have beliefs and ideas that are so ingrained in us that we don’t realize how we actually perceive things.

Nope, you may not like everything you hear but it’s all just information right?

Whether it’s right or wrong or we agree with it or not, it is up to us to make a decision on what feels right for us to either take on board, or leave it with all the other info that is out there.

Sometimes we have beliefs and ideas that are so ingrained in us that we don’t realize how we actually perceive things.

We now live in a time where everything is literally out our fingertips.

I was just taking a moment today admiring at how the world is because of the internet. We have data at our fingertips. If we want to find a book we can order it online or head into a bookstore ourselves. It’s all there, accessible like never before.

Perhaps there is too much information for us to get through. We are bombarded daily with media sites, subliminal advertising, news, human talk and everything we scroll through in our phones and laptops. System overload!

I don’t blame you if you have no idea what is actually real and what is fiction…I am probably half way in that thought pattern myself. Truth has been blended with “alternative facts”, reality is hidden through films and books, and journalists have lost their reputation as reputable sources.

If you believe in something say it. If you know something that another person doesn’t, talk about it. Your friends may not agree with you on 99% of the things you say (if that is the case it might be time to get new friends), but that 1% may help them, it may be a seed that gets planted that grows when the time is right.

If you are adamant on your beliefs ask yourself:
Why is that? Where did my beliefs come from? Do they serve me? Do they reflect the person I am today?

It is OK to change your beliefs, in fact it is healthy to do so. It is OK to change your mind. (I didn’t always like spicy food but now I do, the same goes for spinach). It’s OK to grow and to want to know more, it’s a part of life.

Learn, learn, and keep learning. As your mind expands with new knowledge you will find what feels right for you, you will see through the facade of false headlines, through panic and fear, and you will find truth in a world of charlatans, gossip and Chinese whispers. The heart is never wrong…follow it.

The other side of you

You sit and observe the beautiful girl in the room. She is perfect in your eyes.

She has amazing shoes on, a great outfit, her hair is full and luscious, and you always wished for her kind of hair.

She has a very beautiful face, which is lit up by her perfect teeth and smile.

You adore her body and physique, and you say to yourself “she is lucky, she probably eats what she wants and is blessed with good genes”.

You begin to compare yourself to her, and look down and start judging yourself. Your confidence just fell through the floor, wishing you had picked out nicer clothes before you left home, even though you look great.

You put your drink down, excuse yourself and head to the ladies bathroom to compose yourself. You get your lip gloss, eyeliner, and mascara out, and stare at your reflection of the girl in the mirror.

How many times have us girls done this? Compared yourself to others by how they look, how their presence feels, what they are wearing and who their friends are. I am sure it is no different for men who feel the same way, and compare to other men in the room, or situations.

The minute we see someone who seemingly has their “shit together”, we feel bad about ourselves, magnify our flaws, and get frustrated where we are in our journey.

You may actually have all of the good traits of the “beautiful girl” in the above scenario, but we rarely see our own golden light and attributes.

What we don’t see when looking at others is their pain. The hardships endured, that they still may be enduring, and like most of us, carry it in silence.

Many beautiful girls, like most girls in population, have low self-esteem levels. Many of them sexually abused or assaulted in their younger years. Trauma being carried with them, that make-up and beautiful clothes only hide.

Toxic relationships that these girls keep getting involved in, because they see themselves as toxic on a deeper level. This isn’t always a belief they know they have, as it is on a sub-conscious level.

Looks don’t mean confidence.

Smiles don’t reflect happiness.

Great outfits and perfect make up hide emotional and physical scars.

Laughter masks the brokenness inside.

Flirting because dad didn’t teach you how to attract the right kind of love.

Crying yourself to sleep because you were told not to speak up when an older man touched you inappropriately.

Sound familiar? It was for me.

I have been toxic. I hated myself to the very core. I only respected myself as much as those cheating, lying boyfriends treated me

They only treated me a certain way because I allowed it…A difficult truth I needed to accept.

Drinking to forget my pain, even though I disliked alcohol and the way it made me feel.

Sleeping with men I didn’t like, because I wanted someone’s arms around me to make me feel loved, even if it was only for a night, and the sex rubbish.

Training myself into the ground until my body broke, because I needed to punish myself.

Seeing everyone else’s needs were met before mine, because they mattered and they were better than me.

Sabotaging good things and opportunities in my life because I didn’t deserve them.

That was the old me. Every point was exactly how I felt about myself. A broken girl who covered it so well, that she was able to be the motivation and inspiration for others because of the persona she gave.

We all have pain, trauma and past events that affect us to this day, whether we are aware of it or not. Your childhood and what you observed growing up, is what you base your beliefs on, how you carry out your daily life, and how your relationships evolve.

It is easy to sit and judge others by their looks and social status, but little do we know their story. Sometimes the very people you envy, are the very parts of yourself you need to heal.

One can only treat you the way you allow them to. People love pushing boundaries, and if you have none, then it might be time to set some up and avoid disappointments and heartbreak.

It is key for me to share some of my past and how I was, to help you in your journey of healing and change. To make you believe in yourself, that no matter how deep those wounds, they can be healed, they don’t have to dictate your life forever, and that they don’t reflect who you truly are.

For most of my career as an athlete I ran. I ran from myself, I ran from my emotions, I ran from those who loved me the most, and I ran myself into self-destruction.

I overcame my pain and my fears because I wanted to be a better me. I wanted to be happy, and I didn’t want this darkness that was plaguing me and destroying my life. Pain that almost cost me my life when I was 15, sad and wanting to end it with a box of panadol.

It takes courage, patience and a whole lot of forgiveness to overcome your demons and be the “beautiful girl” in the room with no other side of you to hide.

If you have been abused, assaulted, tormented and/or neglected, realise that your healed pain will someday be used to help someone else overcome theirs

Those with the deepest wounds always make the best healers and teachers.